The Way Back

How following what lights me up is leading me home to myself

There is this feeling, a nagging of sorts, that revisits me often. It's gentle, a calling back to myself. Lately, I’ve been sitting with it more. This quiet pull to explore the parts of me I’ve tucked away. The creative ones. The playful ones. The curious ones. The parts that never quite fit into a clearly defined path.

Recently, a childhood friend asked, “When did you get so serious?” And just like that, I was brought back to that feeling, the longing. I remember quietly thinking to myself, “Have I lost my whimsy?” 😭😭 But, truthfully, maybe I had gotten stuck. I started believing I had to pick a lane and stay in it. That once I chose a direction, it had to be the only one. But over the last few years, God has been gently un-teaching that mindset. I’ve come to see that I was never meant to stay in one lane. Maybe that works for some people, but not me.

I’m not just one thing. most of us aren’t honestly. the more I try to quiet all the voices that say otherwise, the more I feel myself returning.

Returning to the little girl who created just because it felt good. Who played for no other reason than to experience joy. Who didn’t ask for permission to be messy, to be curious, to pickup random hobbies, to try again, to start over, to dream differently.

ugh. to be that free again.

There’s something sacred about that kind of freedom.

And if I’m being honest, I miss it.

I miss letting myself play.

I miss the version of creativity that wasn’t tied to productivity or perfection or profit. There was a time it was just me, fully immersed in the creative moment, feeling wonder on the inside and letting it spill out however it needed to.

I’m learning that play isn’t childish, it’s healing. It’s how we remember who we are beneath the layers of what the world tells us to be. When I give myself permission to be curious, free spirited..when I create without expectation or pressure, just intentionality, I feel God meet me there.

It’s like grace rushes in the moment I stop needing it all to “mean” something.

And maybe that’s the whole point. Maybe, when it flows from a place of joy and presence, it becomes purpose. and we make room for grace. Not because it’s perfectly planned or profitable or polished, but because it’s honest. Because it’s aligned.

So lately, I’m letting myself explore.

I’m letting myself try.

I'm letting myself fail.

I'm letting myself have fun.

I'm allowing myself to do all the things, and I’m not rushing to make it all make sense. I’m just trusting that my path can be wide, winding, and full of color. That I can follow what lights me up, and somehow, that’s enough.

I’m allowed to change. I’m allowed to be more than one thing. And I’m learning that every time I lean into what feels true, even if it’s different than before, I get closer to purpose.

Closer to peace.

Closer to grace.

Coser to God.

And that feels like home.

To all my mutli-dimensional friends out there, allow yourself to be. Take these I AM statements as you find your way back home:

1. I am allowed to be all of me.

2. I am rooted in purpose, even when the path is wide.

3. I am worthy of expression in every form it takes.

4. I am a reflection of divine creativity.

5. I am here to create from a place of truth, not pressure.

Let your joy be sacred. Let your creativity be a conversation with God.

With Grace,

Han